Insomnia

A cry in the distance stirs my restless self
Sounds like a baby crying all by its self
Footsteps outside the window someone returning home for the night
My eyes are closed but full of sight
The crying continues but the sounds are low
Night turns to day so, so very slow

The morning sun breaks the silence of dawn
From deep sleep I wake with a yawn
But deep sleep which only now did I get
My only solitude which I now regret
Tired from my trials of life I wake
My listless body fights the urge of the movements I make
Last night again sleep was not my friend
It seems my troubles simply wont end
Another simple task I cannot accomplish
Just to sleep for an hour I wish
So many nights the stars I would count
My thoughts from days gone would mount
Life stealing back what little moments its gives
It takes back more than what it leaves

Another day plunders by
The clouds dance upon their stage in the sky
A cool breeze kisses my face
As I sit on a hill staring into space
And I’m thinking of absolutely nothing
I know I should be thinking of something
I shudder at the thought of the setting sun
Another day ended another night begun

Finally to my bed I head
Another long night which I totally dread
I lie there waiting to sleep
Tonight is all silent not even a peep
Finally my eyes tire and slowly close
At last sleep kisses me on my head it’s me it chose
Deep into sleep I lumber
My body craving this welcome slumber
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . A cry in the distance

Question marks constantly arrest my persona
Ironica creates them for me whatever is whenever
I’m drifting in and out of reality
My vehicle is a cloud amassed with confusion, love, hate, passion, intrigue,
Truth, freedom, life and death.
My current movement resembles that of electric blue
Its often tranquil but it makes me bleed
In the quest to be come colourless I exhort my eyes with the most profound trust
It then masters that deception
Once more my feelings has succeeded in confusing me
But what’s most amazing is I like the way it looks
It’s startling but its beautiful
I still drift in a sea of compulsion
Whether I am dead or not I have no idea

Suddenly the sky turn a dull gray and the storm clouds rush in
The sun that once shone brightly cannot be seen
But wait the sun fight back
But soon the storm wins and it all goes black
I find myself back on the edge of madness
Death has stab my happiness
My mind now hollow of thought
A tragic experience my heart once fought
All has gone quiet inside
The fear has risen the fear I once tried to hide

Even the tiny voices have gone
Even the little bird that sang a graceful song,
Poor thing its life just instantly taken
Oh why am I forsaken?
Why is my path blocked again?
Oh know its back no please not the pain
Oh how helpless my heart does beat
I am beat I now feel the defeat
I look around me for the footprints in the sand
Mine lead me to the sea the other set away to the land

Now the cold rain does pound
My footprints are washed away from the ground
Now I am lost not sure which way I have been
Not sure which way to go I lost the road I had once seen
The cold wind bellows its piercing cold into me
The rains cloud my eyes so I cannot see
I try to hold back the tears
But still my trembling body fears
The cold dives deep into my body straight for my heart
The piercing pain splitting it apart

The silence now over comes me
Its mimicking movements confusing me
Never has the silence sounded so sad
Never has it been this bad
I feel my chest for that familiar sound
But no my heart does no more pound
But wait it beats one more time weak and faint like a blade of grass
Then its silent and then…..it shatters like glass
I can feel the pain spread throughout
Oh how the silence now does shout
I look back it’s where I have been
Its my future, its my present it the pain I have seen
I guess its my road my calling my destiny
Loneliness, sadness, pain, fear then death that’s life’s plan for me….

your words are so deep so comforting so warm
so are they that
they make me sad
yet they make me smile
they make me shine
they settle the pain
they settle the hurt
they settle loneliness
they settle the shame
they give sight to my blindness
and hearing to my deafness
such are you words
that i would be lost without them.
So my dear friend fear me not
trust in me
believe in me and i free i will set you
your fears i shall vanquish
and proudly like the sun i will shine
and chase away you shadows
for your strength in me will
I will use to protect you....

Ahh my friend there you are where have you been?
Why have our paths not met, you I have not seen
How many days have you wandered by?
And still not seen by my eye
Oh my pretty friend
How sadness you bring to an end
Many young men wish to see you soon
Journeys for your heart they will travel from the sun to the moon
I myself am on my way for your hand to fight
For with my sword I shall deal out my plight

Cause to the victor your hand shall I wait
And should any man in my way be, death shall be his fate
My sword is sharp and just
Strike any man down to the dust
Oh but how fair are thou perfect I say
Thy beauty grows stronger by the day
Be aware whose hand you take
Cause thy heart is a great prize to stake
Thy man should be strong and brave
Cause I will do battle and home will be his grave

Ahh my friend give me thy hand
Come away and be queen of my land
Oh my fair one let us make haste
Time without you has been a waste
Climb aboard my gallant steed
Lets head for the hill with great speed
Oh be brave
For your heart I am here to save
The journey is long but the reward is great
Cause over the hills your castle await

Ahh my fair one when time meets us there
I pray that day my child you will bare
So they may be as fair as thee
And oh how happy we will be
But everyday by our door I will stand
Striking down any man in search of your hand
Their blood by our door will flow
I will stand strong and deliver my deathly blow
I will fight till we free and when we grow old
Every day by my side you will be and your hand I shall forever hold.

Oh where art thou where art thou
Why is it that thou I do not see
Tis has been many a day that our eyes have not met
Our hands have not touched
And thy lips mine have not kissed
Come forth show thou self
For it has been too long since we been together
Oh how my heart does ache
And seeing you I did take for granted
Humble me with thy presence
For my heart does bleed with sorrow

Oh where art thou where art thou
Oh how my ears long to hear thy sweet words
So many days have past and so much silence
Why does time move so slow when we are apart
But so quickly when we are together
Oh how much thy I adore
Even more when you are far from my eyes
I am like a child ripped from thy mother’s womb
An innocence stolen from natural love
Oh why have I been forsaken?
Does my lord not hear my cries?

Oh Where art thou where art thou
Still many days have come and gone
And still I am without thou
Oh how I long to feel thou skin against mine
And to run my hand through thou hair
Oh where art thou for my soul is lost without thou
Tis like I have died and death has past me
Now I am left to wander this evil place
Alone without thou yes alone

Oh where art thou where art thou
Why won’t thou come to me?
Have I wronged thou so much
That thou has abandoned me
Oh how I long to smell thou so fresh like the daisies
And to look upon thy beauty
If I cannot see thou then my eyes are of no use
And should be scratched from my head
And my hands lanced if I cannot hold thee one more time
And I shall hold my breath until thou I see
Oh where art thou where art thou……………….

I’m standing on the edge of insanity
Behind me lies Confusion
Left of me reality
But right of me I see where all good, bad, dark, light meet in one fusion
A never, never world controlled by a Power called Life
God promised me one day he would make you my wife
But I guess he promised you something else first
My love for you is like a thirst
A thirst I cannot quench or satiate
I have traveled this far I don’t know how you will retaliate
But how can I relinquish you
All I know or all I can do is love you

I look to my left and behind the reality lies nothing
Cause without you there is nothing
To my right I see a dark place
Dark because you were the light
A cold place
Cold because you were the warm glow now you gone from sight

Dark turns to light
Night to day
Confusion spreads to what seems like forever
Winds blow and choices are made
Realization is entangled with reality
Conformity becomes unorthodox
The sun shines again but without warmth
Temptation is merely a mirage of calamity

Changes produce false deceptions
Deceptions between truth and lies
Freedom is life’s illusions
Illusions are life’s way of hiding the truth
How can we be free if we are prisoners?
Prisoners for life, prisoners for death
Is death the end?
Or is death the beginning of the end
Loneliness is the minds ways of escaping pain
Pain is an experience of an experience
Experience is a memory gone wrong
If we are wrong can we ever be right
Is tranquility really tranquil?

Do people change or do they fake change
Is change necessary?
Or is it necessary to change
Do we manipulate each other?
Or are we easily influenced
This then asks the question is there love
What is love?
Is love a sign of our weakness
Is weakness our sixth sense of well being,
Or are we pieces of a twisted puzzle
Is fate then really fate or just a transitional phase?
Switching between right and left

Am I drawn to pain?
A simple question I ask
From all these abnormalities how do I remain sane?
How tough is life that I should bear such a cruel task
Time and time again I have had to fall
And time and time again life trampled over me
But deep, deep in me I heard my spirit call
Telling me to get up be strong be free
But now that voice is gone, gone away
All is quiet even the trees don’t sway

I am back at my crossroads with nothing, nothing to live for
So I dive over the edge without a care
My flightless body slowly, slowly falling to my death
Cause death in evitable is our only direction
Our path which life leads us from young to old
The only place where we can cheat time
And our weakened destabilized souls can finally rest
Rest before our next journey or till we beginThis twisted thing called LIFE………